a heart issue

"If you're fixing the moral issue but you don't address the heart issue, then you'll never be free. You can't see the problem as, 'I cuss too much. I'm not a good enough husband, I'm not a good enough parent.' Can I tell you the most freeing news in the world? You're not! That's right, you do stink! In fact any acknowledgment of your guilt is shallow and incomplete. You are far more guilty and far more of a failure than you think you are. The reason that's such good news is because Christ has made provision for your shortcomings. So when you understand it's not a moral issue but a heart issue, you'll understand and long for a Savior rather than trying to be your own savior."

-Matt Chandler, Pastoral Prayers Pt. 2, 5/15/11. Full sermon available here.

on the Big Dream and the Importance of Cheese

Cheese and I have never gotten along very well. (Of course not real life cheese, gouda and I are BFFs obvs.)

You know, "Life is a box of chocolates/highway/rollercoaster" kind of stuff. It just doesn't do it for me. If we're being real, what I mean to say is that I am a stuck-up eye-rolling snob skeptic when it comes to movies, pop culture, self-help books, the Internet phenomenon that is "quotes"...You name it, I'll scoff sneer gently poke fun at it.

But somehow, in the middle of my officesuppliesfluorescentlightspapercuts9to5-induced coma, that darn cheese got to me. I began tweeting quotes-- Twitter probably couldn't handle all the cheese coming from my account!

But the cheese was good cheese. It woke me up. It made me dream. It tugged at parts of my heart that I had hidden for a selfishly twisted fear of vibrance. And anyhow, I think sometimes the cheesy things are the true things. So let me share with you some of this glorious cheese:

"If you know God's grace, love boldly, live robustly. Swing from the trapeze; his safety net will break your fall." (Max Lucado via his Twitter account)

When was the last time you did something for the first time?



In the words of my dear friend Sara, zing, zing, zing, and ZING.

And the dreams came flooding out. I couldn't stop them. They are many and feverishly exciting, all. And for the first time in my life I'm intent on seeing them through, expecting both victory and failure but frightened of neither.

So what exactly is the Big Dream? My heart knows it in full; putting it into words will take time. Stop by later this week if you're curious; I'll have some more great cheese waiting.

happy resignation day to meeee!

A note of business first- I have made a switch from my old address-- http://emilyfluck.blogspot.com -- to this one, http://lifegladly.blogspot.com/. If you have my old address saved in a reader somewhere, feel free to update it!

God is leading me into some super exciting changes. I cannot wait to share them all with you. It will take a while. I have big plans for this blog, which I will unfold and explain over the following weeks and months. Today I'll get the biggest chunk out of the way-- my work situation.

I started my job in April, and to be honest, it has been a long few months. Office life was oddly alluring to me at first. Salaried pay. Dressy clothes. Paid vacation. An official title. It all fed my ego nicely...I am absolutely the youngest in our adulty friend circles, and sometimes that is uncomfortable. Having a "real" job at an engineering firm on St. Charles gave me a strange confidence-- it was a fancy accessory for the adult costume I was stitching together. Upon meeting new people, I could answer the inevitable "And what do you do?" with a simple "I work at an engineering firm downtown"...and we could skip the terribly awkward "Oh, so you haven't finished college?" and "YOU'RE ONLY 21 YEARS OLD?!" Everything was easier.

But with every copy I copied, every scan I scanned, and every file I filed, I seriously felt my brain rotting away. Office work, salaried and steady though it may be, is NOT for me. Sitting in a fluorescently-lit box from 7am-5pm every day? So not my dream job.

God was, of course, ever so faithful through all of these long days. He graciously gave me a work BFF who broke up the monotony of my days and made the whole thing funnier and more enjoyable than I could have ever imagined. We spent lunch hours eating Lean Cuisines and watching Bravo and shopping and getting pedicures. My engineer friends Eeyore and Old Man Potato were certainly entertaining as well. And God also gave me clear opportunities to love co-workers well, and in doing so helped me to see his purpose for this time.

Even so, I have never felt such a restlessness. I would come home with my muscles craving a 90-mile run, my creativity itching to paint the whole house, and my mind craving a theological think tank...but then I would take a nap. And in being so bored and discontent, I stumbled upon a big realization. I am absolutely giddy with excitement.

I can spend my life doing something I love.

I know you are all like DUH EMILY! right now but hold on, let me explain. So 8th grade, Brandon Middle School has us all take a little quiz to see what careers might fit us best. As if 13 year olds aren't confused enough. My results: librarian, garbage man, stewardess, neurosurgeon. In 9th grade we took a personality test- the one with the colors. My results look like a rainbow, no help there! The rest of high school guidance counselors say: figure out your college major so you can take related AP classes to get accepted to the best college with the best program to get the best internship to get the best job!

Whew. Somewhere in there I went from future editor to businesswoman to interpreter to political advisor to Spanish teacher. I went into college confused, and I went through college confused, and I paused college even more confused. Thank God for the pause. Because now I get to pursue doing what I love.

And that, friends, is creating. Yes. Creating. I'm leaving it vague because I don't know exactly what I want to create. I know I love making beautiful things. I know I love writing. I know that I love to sew. And I know God has given my passion in my heart and talent in my hands for a reason.

So in two weeks, I will leave my office costume behind to be myself. Officially, I will be working full-time at an alterations shop. I am beyond excited. I get to gain valuable experience with sewing machines and fabrics. The people are great. The schedule is less demanding. I can breathe easy. All of which means that unofficially, I am freed up to pursue the Big Dream. And that I will talk about soon. Sigh. I am so happy.

love immeasurable.

Love immeasurable, Love divine
Love unlocked this prison mine
Love who paid for all my crime
wrap my heart in Thine

I had built a life on shifting sand
Bounding down the brink, You grabbed my hand
Unaware was I my tragic state
Rescued how can I but celebrate

Love immeasurable, Love divine
Love unlocked this prison mine
Love who paid for all my crime
wrap my heart in Thine

Drowning in a well of dark despair
Dropped a rope and dragged me up for air
Purged my lungs of liquid, given voice
Bid this twisted tongue of mine rejoice

Love immeasurable, Love divine
Love unlocked this prison mine
Love who paid for all my crime
wrap my heart in Thine

Sleeping in a coffin set to die
Wakened by the Son and grateful I
Raised to life and love and faithfulness
Happy I to give you nothing less

Love immeasurable, Love divine
Love unlocked this prison mine
Love who paid for all my crime
wrap my heart in Thine

zing!

"People do not-- will not-- drift towards holiness.

Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not

gravitate towards

Godliness, prayer,

obedience to scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord.

Instead,

we drift towards compromise and call it tolerance

we drift towards disobedience and call it freedom

we drift towards superstition and call it faith

we cherish the indiscipline of lost self control and call it relaxation

we slouch towards prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking that we have escaped legalism.

We slide towards godlessness-- and convince ourselves that we have been liberated."


D.A. Carson -For the Love of God

Believer!

Believer! Does your soul say within you:

"Oh that he were mine! and oh that I were his; that I could please him and live to him!"

Then do not toss your spirit and perplex your thoughts in fruitless, endless doubtings,

but as you are convinced of ungodliness, believe on Him who justifies the ungodly.

You are condemned, yet Christ is dead and risen.

Flee to Him as such.

[Matthew Henry's commentary on Romans 8:39]

om nom.

in the past four (four!) days, I have eaten:

crawfish bread
beignets
pralines
ooey-gooeys
fried chicken
oyster-bacon pastry
bread pudding
bourbon shrimp
crab cakes
crawfish-stuffed bell pepper
a fried shrimp poboy
boiled shrimp
fried chicken

guess I live in n'awlins, huh?