A note of business first- I have made a switch from my old address-- http://emilyfluck.blogspot.com -- to this one, http://lifegladly.blogspot.com/. If you have my old address saved in a reader somewhere, feel free to update it!
God is leading me into some super exciting changes. I cannot wait to share them all with you. It will take a while. I have big plans for this blog, which I will unfold and explain over the following weeks and months. Today I'll get the biggest chunk out of the way-- my work situation.
I started my job in April, and to be honest, it has been a long few months. Office life was oddly alluring to me at first. Salaried pay. Dressy clothes. Paid vacation. An official title. It all fed my ego nicely...I am absolutely the youngest in our adulty friend circles, and sometimes that is uncomfortable. Having a "real" job at an engineering firm on St. Charles gave me a strange confidence-- it was a fancy accessory for the adult costume I was stitching together. Upon meeting new people, I could answer the inevitable "And what do you do?" with a simple "I work at an engineering firm downtown"...and we could skip the terribly awkward "Oh, so you haven't finished college?" and "YOU'RE ONLY 21 YEARS OLD?!" Everything was easier.
But with every copy I copied, every scan I scanned, and every file I filed, I seriously felt my brain rotting away. Office work, salaried and steady though it may be, is NOT for me. Sitting in a fluorescently-lit box from 7am-5pm every day? So not my dream job.
God was, of course, ever so faithful through all of these long days. He graciously gave me a work BFF who broke up the monotony of my days and made the whole thing funnier and more enjoyable than I could have ever imagined. We spent lunch hours eating Lean Cuisines and watching Bravo and shopping and getting pedicures. My engineer friends Eeyore and Old Man Potato were certainly entertaining as well. And God also gave me clear opportunities to love co-workers well, and in doing so helped me to see his purpose for this time.
Even so, I have never felt such a restlessness. I would come home with my muscles craving a 90-mile run, my creativity itching to paint the whole house, and my mind craving a theological think tank...but then I would take a nap. And in being so bored and discontent, I stumbled upon a big realization. I am absolutely giddy with excitement.
I can spend my life doing something I love.
I know you are all like DUH EMILY! right now but hold on, let me explain. So 8th grade, Brandon Middle School has us all take a little quiz to see what careers might fit us best. As if 13 year olds aren't confused enough. My results: librarian, garbage man, stewardess, neurosurgeon. In 9th grade we took a personality test- the one with the colors. My results look like a rainbow, no help there! The rest of high school guidance counselors say: figure out your college major so you can take related AP classes to get accepted to the best college with the best program to get the best internship to get the best job!
Whew. Somewhere in there I went from future editor to businesswoman to interpreter to political advisor to Spanish teacher. I went into college confused, and I went through college confused, and I paused college even more confused. Thank God for the pause. Because now I get to pursue doing what I love.
And that, friends, is creating. Yes. Creating. I'm leaving it vague because I don't know exactly what I want to create. I know I love making beautiful things. I know I love writing. I know that I love to sew. And I know God has given my passion in my heart and talent in my hands for a reason.
So in two weeks, I will leave my office costume behind to be myself. Officially, I will be working full-time at an alterations shop. I am beyond excited. I get to gain valuable experience with sewing machines and fabrics. The people are great. The schedule is less demanding. I can breathe easy. All of which means that unofficially, I am freed up to pursue the Big Dream. And that I will talk about soon. Sigh. I am so happy.